The life and times of a geeky unsucessful college graduate - my thoughts and theories on the world around me.
"It is the quality of ones convictions that determines success, not the number of followers." - Remus Lupin
First, THE PATRIOTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, now that's out of my system, I had my interview and drug test for a security job on Thursday and Friday. I figured I would be working by this Friday so I quit at the factory. I still haven't got the call to go for training yet though so now I'm anxious.
I've been having a pretty rotten week so far because my dog is sick. She is a six year old Rottweiler who is normally full of energy but I think she has stomache cancer because she can't keep most food down and she won't move very much at all. We've moved her from her coop into the carport so that she'd stay warm and we give her asprin to keep her comfortable. I cried all the way to my drugtest on Friday and I spent most of Saturday outside with her. I don't have the money to take her to the vet and I don't think I could handle them putting her to sleep. I figure if it's illegal to kill people, why can't dogs have a chance. I know she's going to die but as long as she's on medication and not in pain I don't see why she can't live as long as she can. It's sad because I watched some videos on youtube where Rottweilers and babies played together and it hurts to know that none of my kids will every get to know this great dog. Here's a video I made of her:
Movie of the day: Hatchi a Dogs Tale
Song of the day: Until the Day I Die by Story of the Year
Today I missed a day at my new job because I had an interview for different one. Now I have a job in a factory doing easy work, an offer to start an office position the beginning of February, and now a position working security for the gas wells. I'm leaning toward taking the security job because it pays more than the other two, it is only three days a week, it is closer to where I live, and it is out of NY. I'm still hoping that I can get some overtime from it so that I have extra cash.
My brother's party is tomorrow night. This is upsetting because I get up for work at 4am mornings so tomorrow when I get home, I want to be able to go to bed and have a nice peaceful sleep. A bunch of college kids boxing, drinking, and trying to blow their eadrums out is not my idea of a relaxing night. I think I may have to bring out the earplugs and headphones just to get to sleep.
I finished the Percy Jackson series yesterday which saddens me knowing that the series is over. Yes there's the Heroes of Olympus series and the Kane Chronicals but I don't like the Kane Chronicals and the Heroes of Olympus doesn't fill the void. To make up for my empty time, I've started working on my story again. I always love working on it but my biggest difficulty is the beginning. The introduction has been killing me since I started the story in high school.
Movie of the day: Undercover Angel
Song of the day: Say that You Made Love to Me by Ten Year Vamp
(sorry no youtube video, I couldn't find one so I put the link to their website where you can listen to the song) http://www.tenyearvamp.com/music.html
Well today was my first day at my new job. It went pretty well, the job is easy and I really like the sitting down part. I hate standing 8-12 hours a day on concrete in steel toe shoes. I'm enjoying the sitting down in a comfy chair wearing my Converse All-Stars. The only problem is that it is still a factory position and I've been offered an office position somewhere else that would start the beginning of February.
Even though my career is looking up, the family situation is going downhill like a rollercoaster. I've managed to alienate myselft by pissing off my mother and my brother. To start with, I should just say that my father and I don't get along well at all. For me, this is because he has been telling me that I'm fat and stupid my entire life (along with some other verbal abuses that I will not mention here). So I already have 'daddy issues'. I pissed off my brother when I moved all of my stuff into our grandparents old house two summers ago. I was going to move in as soon as I felt I could pay rent to my parents and I didn't want to move in during the winter because at the time the place had no heat. My brother breaks up with his fiance and decides he's going to move in last winter. I wait until April to actually move in (ie sleep in my own bed). Not only did he move all of my stuff into a different room so that he could have mine, he brings in a ton of cats who would rather shit on the floor instead of the litter box, he put all of his dishes in the kitchen, moved my kitchen table out to replace it with his, puts all of his furniture in the living room (putting my chair in my bedroom), decorates the kitchen/living room/bathroom with only his stuff (not allowing me to put any of my stuff anywhere except my bedroom), and now he gets angry when I put anythingat all in the living room saying that he was there first. My mother is now angry at me because I complain to her about my brother and his stupid cats. She is mad because we have to take our clothes to her house because our washer broke.
I'm ready to say "screw 'em" but I can't get away because I have too much college debt and I don't make enough to cover a transition anywhere else. For the moment, I've taken the attitude to ignore them all. It will help now that I'm working - I can afford to not be home at all. I've also taken it upon myself to piss my brother off even more just for spite. I refuse to do dishes (which doesn't matter cuz I use paper and plastic so the rest is his anyway), I've stopped cleaning everything except my own bedroom, I moved my chair and my dvd shelf out into the living room (which he hated), and to top it off I put pink panther cloth on the stand next to my chair with a pink pillow and blanket in the chair. He wants me to stay at our parents this weekend because he is having a big party for his birthday. I'm not going anywhere because he can't kick me out of my own place (and I don't trust him or his friends to sleep, have sex, or puke in my bed. I've also thought about bringing my Rottweiler in the house to keep his cats at bay but with it being so cold outside, I don't want her to get sick. My brother says that he is going to find somewhere else to live after he graduates in May but I don't want to get my hopes up. I guess for now I will simply keep doing what I'm doing (and I know it's childish and immature but whatever).
Movie of the day: Some Like it Hot
Song of the day: Hey You by Pink Floyd
I am an avid New England Patriots so I would like to encourage everyone to celebrate their win over Denver and advancement through the post-season. I thought the game was amazing to watch even though they were ahead through the entire game starting from kickoff at the beginning. I am a Tom Brady fan and I have to explain that I was so before they won their first Superbowl. I, like so many others, was lost after September 11th and I wanted to show my pride in the United States. I loved football and when I learned there was a team called the Patriots whose colors were red, white, and blue I was immediately hooked. The Patriots with their very handsome young quarterback were my healing mechanism that year. I've rooted for them ever since despite harrassment from my father and my college friends. When I obtained my first Tom Brady jersey this year for Christmas, it was the best Christmas I've had in years (as a fun fact, I also have a build-a-bear in New England Patriots outfit).
In other news, we finally have some snow - which is awesom beyond belief. I finally got to drive my truck on snow-covered roads with little problems. I've come across another new band I like - The Boy and His Machine. I found them from a clearance cd at Hot Topic which is one of my favorite ways to find new bands. It is how I found Asking Alexandria, Dan Erickson, and Rocky Loves Emily.
I also have 2 new jobs. I will be working in a factory starting Monday working on the electrical wiring and then in February I will start training for my first office job. The office job really has me excited because the facility looks great, all of the people seemed to be friendly, and everyone seemed to be close to my same age (as opposed to my last job where EVERYONE was above 40).
In hopes of having a good year and in the spirit of change, I am considering cutting my hair so that I have bangs again. I haven't had them since elementary school but I've been in an Abby Sciuto mood (NCIS) which is leaving me with the urge to die my hair black again as well. I'm still unsure because I don't really know if I could pull off the goth pigtail look though:
Movie of the day: Au Pair 3
Song of the day: Impressive by Junior Doctor
I started to get sick of looking at job websites so balance this I put in the dvd of Rent on Broadway. This always makes me feel better because for one the music is awesome and two because the play is inspiring to all of us whose lives are out of control. I made the mistake of watching the extras which were about the last show on Broadway and how the cast and crew said goodbye - this left me slightly more depressed because I never got to see it on Broadway and now I never will. The good thing is that it is still played other places and I will always have the movie and the last showing on Broadway.
I will always love Rent because it was the first thing that ever opened me up to the idea of homosexuals, transvestites, and AIDS. I grew up in upstate New York. If you don't know, this place is as close to redneck as it could get - even being in New York. I have relatives who were in the KKK and I went to an all white school. My father, although thankfully not religious, was very conservative. I grew up with the ideas that blacks and hispanics were lesser people who didn't like to work, homosexuality was against God and there were certain jobs that women shouldn't do. I was a junior in high school before anyone ever asked me what I believed and if I ever doubted my parents' beliefs. Rent opened my eyes that maybe other types of people were truely as equal as me. I honor Rent with being the first to allow me to question everything I knew about politics, religion, and humanity in general.
Here is a clip I love because I love rent and I love Regis:
In other news, I am still working on the Percy Jackson series and now I am on the fourth book. I am hoping it will kickstart my writing. There is a new magazine taking submissions for Spy stories that I have found. I think it will be a really good read. Here is the link SpyFi Magazine if you would like to submit a story (ficition or nonfiction) or pictures.
Movie of the Day: Rent (obviously)
Song of the Day: Seasons of Love - from Rent (also obviously)
So I've been looking on Blogger at other people's blogs and I've found there are WAY too many Christian blogs out there. When I view my blog, there is a button in the top left corner that says next blog. This is where I've been viewing the other blogs from. The majority are Christian family blogs thanking God and blessing their family, the other half that I've found are shopping blogs where people are selling jewlry or quilts or other handmade items. I've been working my butt off trying to find blogs that are simply other people trying to show the world what life is like where they live. This brings me to my second surprise of blogging. I've had a few views on my site but it surprised me that most of teh viewers are from Russia and Asia. That wasn't exactly what I anticipated when I was creating the site but I hope that it gives them something interesting to read and if they learn anything about living in the States then that's great and I appreciate everyones views.
Strangly enough, I also came across a couple of Arabic sites that after translation were about hatred of America. Needless to say I left those sites quickly but they did give me insite into how others in the world view us as Americans.
My job search is still continuing and I recieved a call for an interview. The job does have a few shortcomings, not only is it second shift and only $8 an hour, it is almost 40 miles away. I would be taking a major pay cut (since I was making $15-$19) at my last job but at least I would have an income even if it doesn't cover all of my expenses. There is the hope of overtime as well which would increase the pay but would also decrease my energy levels.
In an attempt to calm myself and relax, I've started reading the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series again. I spent all yesterday reading and finished the first two books. Today, I am currently halfway through the third book and with any luck, I will finish it and start the fourth book today.
I live with my brother who is two years younger than me - maiking him 21 (almost 22) and me 23. I went to bed last night around 10 so I could sleep better and wake up ready to read. He was working in the garage when I went to bed. I woke up some time around 11:30 and saw the light directly down the hall from my room was on and his girlfriend had brought more cats down to keep in the house. I am NOT a cat person. I prefer dogs because they actually seem to care about you and they poop outside. My brother insists on having cats in the house but everytime he gets a new one, he throws the others outside. This tells me that his kids are going to be treated horribly everytime a new child is born but whatever. They stayed up until almost one which left me staying up the entire time too because the light from the living room goes directly into my room. Now I want to give some advice for other siblings who are thinking about living together - DON'T. My brother and his girlfriend don't care if I'm trying to sleep or watching a movie in the room next to theirs, they have sex with the door to their room open - VERY loudly. I can understand getting some loving but really you want to wait until noon when you know very well that everyone is awake. And please shove a sock in her mouth. For some odd reason, they also like to watch the cartoon Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast while they do all this too. For these reasons, I will never bring a guy home until I move out and live by myself.
Sorry if that got a little rated R on you but I find that it is better to vent (even on the internet) than to keep it bottled-up. I would hate to become a serial killer when I'm 50 because I had to live with my brother when I was 20.
Movie of the day: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief
Song of the day: Twenty Years by Live the Story
My search for employment is still continueing unsuccessfully. I've applied to probably 20 jobs and it seems being a college graduate with a bachelor degree is not enough to give you experience or get you an interview. I've been trying to work on my diet - I've stopped eating junk food which blows because the remaining food is not as tasty. I'm still hoping to get into shape to join the military and I've started playing tennis on the Wii since it is too cold outside to go for a walk or run.
In my complete boredom, I've been watching Warehouse 13 on Netflix. It is suprisingling very good but then I also enjoy Eureka on Syfy. I am currently on season 2 and season 3 just ended in December so I will have to wait for a while to watch season 3.
I've officially become bored with facebook and twitter. I've also gotten bored with making stop-motion videos. I would really like to get into making real movies but I don't have a lot of friends nearby that would be interetested in anything to do with filmmaking.
Movie of the day: GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra
Song of the day: Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People
Well my intentions of not drinking on New Years Eve was dashed as soon as I walked in the door. I had to pick up the pizza and the place didn't take credit cards so I had to find an ATM and then pay a $2.50 fee just to get the stupid pizza. On the way back, which was about a half hour drive, I thought about the party. Normally at a party people joke and catch up - this made me realize that I now had to tell everyone that I was unemployed. After four years of being proud to be an out of state college student, I now had to face up to the facts. My goals had been fruitless. By the time I got to my parents house, I was ready to drink for the next four hours until the new year. I am not a drinker which tells you that although I am a heavy set girl, I am quite the light-weight when drinking. I started off with a shot of Tequila Rose and a Mikes Margarita. After this I followed with a Jose Quevo Margarita and a Amarritto Sour. By the time I finished all four, I had a headache and it was only 11 O'Clock. I thought it would be best if I just took some advil and not drink anymore. For the toast I drank ginger ale instead of shots like everyone else had and I felt better. I was proud of myself though because I didn't throwup or have the runs like I normally do for a hangover. The worst I got was a headache and heartburn.
Yesterday was my resting day that I always need after drinking. I got up around 11, watched Tropic Thunder, then decided I should finally learn how to use more funcitons on Sony Vegas so I made my first stop motion video on Youtube using Windows Movie Maker to cut down the time of the pictures and then placed it in Vegas to learn the green screen functions. Now I'm comfortable with the green screen. I think possibly today I might make a script and start another stop motion video with green screen. This is my first stop-motion video. I think it still needs to be shortened between pics but it was my test video.
Movie of the day: Tropic Thunder
Song of the Day: Came Out Swinging by The Wonder Years
